3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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