Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
