No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
