I could make wine with my vomit
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
