She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
