The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
