You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
