He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
