but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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