One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
