Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
