yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
