Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
