so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
