While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
