ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
only if we run a train.
done.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
