i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
