If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
