I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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