A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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