Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize