Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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