I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
