so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
