I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
