Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize