Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
