Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
