I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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