and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
