Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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