Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
