You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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