He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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