i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
