It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
