he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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