Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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