direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
