The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
