i may or may not be watching the land before time
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
