evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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