Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
