nut hugger
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
