Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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