They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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