Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
