Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
