Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
