I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
