Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
