so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
