when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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