I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
