Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
