Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
