Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
