4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
