lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
