At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize