Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
