YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
