Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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