when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
