I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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