this just has baby written all over it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
