whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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