If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm passing your future prison.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
