I wanna bring you to show and tell
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
