he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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