the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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