I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
