I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize