I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dignity is for republicans.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize