I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
