Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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