the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
